The first semester of the school is almost at an end, and at this point, i’m genuinely quite surprised at how quickly time flies, and am also taking a real look at how feasible it is to update this space.
Spoiler: Really not as frequently as I had hoped.
The good news (other than the coming, the death and resurrection of Jesus! Happy good friday!) is that most of the reflections I have are not as time-sensitive. So perhaps i’ll just focus on the periodical updates for now.
I last left off with the weeks of staff training and night school’s seminar weeks in my previous update. Since then, the full-time school has taken off full steam ahead, and with where we are now, I think i’m getting a good sense of the work load and headspace for the rest of the year.
Since starting in the last week of Feb, the students have gone through (five times! Inductively!) the books of:
Philemon, Titus, Ephesians, Mark, Luke, Acts, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Timothy and 2 Corinthians.
This time last year I was feeling so exhausted and drained from the pace of school and couldn’t wait for the break to come. They have been such amazing, hungry, teachable folks, though. School has been such a joy for me!
The daily
It took some figuring out to understand what was expected of the full-time volunteers, and to teethe through the who what when where and how. And since people have been asking what my role actually involves, I thought to just share it here.
On any typical day, I would likely be doing more than one of the following.
“Marking” charts (homework)
Preparing for a book teaching
Discipling / spending time with students
Planning for / preparing tea breaks (hospitality!)
Setting tests / marking tests
It has been quite a huge shift from being a student. Where last year the work load of studying and doing charts were a lot, and with a lot of time pressure, this year has had less time pressure, but a lot more work to do. I’ve enjoyed every bit of it, really. Some more than others, but in all of it, there has been so much joy.
There is also a huge shift in how to be thinking.
Checking: Charts and Chauvinism
In the last few months of chart-checking, i’ve come to realise how difficult the inductive method really is. Not because of the nature of the method in and of itself, but because of how it requires so much unlearning of our own biases to begin to see the Bible and to let the text speak for itself.
I first noticed this as a student, in how easy it is to read a familiar text and to use my Christianese language to make sense of it. It took a while for me to learn to sit with the text and the text alone, and to eventually ask: What is it really saying, and where do I see the evidence for it in the text? (within the boundaries of the historical and literary context of course)
It is one of the hardest things to train ourselves out of. I imagine that the older we are, the harder it will be too (by function of neural pathways and how they work). It gets so easy to read a passage and default to the general truths of what we were told growing up - about God’s grace, His love, His forgiveness. These are all true and good. Really. But I think that the value of the inductive method, for me at least, was coming face to the question: How do I know this? How was it shown? Where? In what ways? To what extent? And it has been a humbling process.
One of the things the teachers tell the students at the start of every school year is to put our pre-conceived notions on a shelf. I’ve found this to be so helpful for me in my own journey.
Growing up in the church, i’ve been so used to being told what to think by someone on the pulpit, that by the time I started learning to think for myself, I didn’t know how to wrestle well with the things I didn’t understand or grasp. So much of my faith was built on repetitions of creeds and rituals, then experiences and anecdotes, that the God I had in my mind was often a God I made up for myself more than who He said He was through His word (and it took me a long time to recognise this). I’m not saying that the Church teaches wrongly, or that anecdotes and experiences are invalid, or that creeds or rituals aren’t useful. But I think, for me, at the core of it, I didn’t quite know who God was for Himself.
It’s like saying I know a celebrity because the news talks about them, I hear their songs, and maybe have friends who know them personally and so I hear about these celebrities from them. And with that, calling it sufficient in calling that celebrity a friend of my own. As far as I know, I don’t think friendships, or any personal relationship, works that way.
And so as I wrestled with all thing things I thought I knew, and all the things I was told to cling so dearly onto (often which were theologies built on, perhaps, denominational preferences), going through the inductive method with the bible, especially at the initial phases, was really a practice of learning to remove my lens of biases, and really, putting them on a shelf. Note: not throwing it away.
I think, because of this practice and mental rigour of reading the bible this way, I’ve come to realise that
I really, truly, know so little. So much more than I did before, but oh, so little. What pride I had (and admittedly, still lingers!).
The more I read the text as it is, the less I cling to man-made factions or divisions of “Christianity”. This has helped me in so many ways to have clarity over what it is that I believe in, and to hold less tightly onto the labels of division that I used to be so patriotic towards.
In this, I think, is the increasing learning to major on the majors, and minor on the minors. To hold closely the things that are central, key, and threaded throughout Bible, and to hold loosely the perhaps less clear variations of interpretations that have caused major divisions in the church. By loosely I don’t mean without consideration. I mean - there are just some things that I really don’t know, and to assume that I know and to hold onto it as though it it Christ Himself would be quite a whammy.Theology in the head is not the same as an understanding of God in the heart. And I’m not saying that I have attained either of the two in it’s full degree. If anything, I think I am, at best, in kindergarten with them. (And perhaps it is a good place to perceive myself to be in. Ever notice how kids won’t shut up with their questions, but undergrads never have questions after lectures?)
I say this because, while I’ve always ~kinda~ knew how to give the ‘theologically correct’ response, I never quite caught it.
J.S Park called it ‘Pocket Theology’; the idea that we throw out theological truths as a band aid for situations as though it brings anything more than empty words and an incapacity to wrestle with, and journey with, a suffering person.
For me, this season of digging into the word has transformed the mere idea of “God is faithful” to recognising the very points through history in which he proved Himself to be faithful. The idea of “God being a promise keeper”, in where, and how He kept His promise, and to whom. And what this means for me now and eternity. That “God loves and cares” is no longer just a distant, conceptual understanding of a God, but to see and recognise the ways He did it.
My point being - I think this journey has been one that brought me to The Celebrity Himself, and to go, “okay, now show me who you are. I want to know you”. And it has taken me on a walk with The Father that has turned theology into a reality for me, so that if or when a pocket theology is thrown toward me in a time where I struggle to make sense of my situation (and it has), I know who it is that I am clinging on to (and can trust in their best of intentions).
To read the bible has been for me an unraveling of my own heart and mind. To dare to say, “this is what I thought, but now, God, what do you think?”, and to recognise if the things I was clinging on to were of God’s value systems, or man’s. And it is hard to let our minds be changed. And so Romans 12:2 is a prayer that I bring to the Lord every day, that my mind may be transformed for the purpose of His will - good, pleasing, perfect.
On book teaching - I have much to share! I think this has been my favourite part so far. But short of listing the books I have taught / will be teaching, I’d like to (eventually) share the gems and pearls that each book has brought out, and called out, in my life.
I’ll be teaching the book of James in May. Then more to come in the OT!
As new staff, we have about 4-5 weeks to prepare for the teaching of a book. I initially thought it was really doable, until all the other work piled on and I realised how little time we had, but also how much time it actually takes to let the book actually sink in.
It’s been fun, but i’ll leave this as it is for now, and share more reflections soon!
Prayers
For the students - It has been a lot. And some days I don’t know if being 3 months in is an encouragement or a discouragement (another 6 more months of this?!) (Hahahah). This is really a tough and very intense and rigorous school. Many of the students (and even staff!) also have families to care for as parents, or have families back in their home country that they miss.
Please do pray for God to continue to renew their strength, for good rest, for their time to be managed well, and for their time here spent with God’s word to also be transforming their lives, as it should. And for joy! As they continue on.
Roger (my husband) has been supporting me financially for the household items and the day to day living expenses. I’ve been so thankful to be able to do this without having to have finances at the back of my mind, really. It is truly a privilege.
At the same time, do be praying for finances for us / myself in the following areas:
Our students who might still be raising financial support for their studies / living here. There are some who are quite young / come from countries where the currency exchange might not be favourable. The school fees itself for the full nine months is $4,950 SGD, and if they include lodging is $7,200 SGD.
It does take a lot of mental load to be worried about these things, and so we’re seeking support for them!For myself - my savings and support from you guys have allowed for me to purchase resources for my teaching (ESV online subscriptions for the commentaries, etc.), and also to support the students by means of blessings! And I thank you for partnering with me in this area, to allow for your giving to increase in fruit, and to multiply towards serving and caring for others :)
The SBS school this year will be heading to an Oral Mother Tongue translation house in Nepal after the school ends as a part of our outreach. This is a ministry under YWAM that seeks to end bible poverty by translating bibles into every native tongue. As a school, we have been committed to praying for them and supporting them, and will be going there to help with the translation work. More on this eventually! But for now, do keep us in prayer; both in spirit and in raising our funds for us to go :)
Do reach out personally if you’d like to find out more at +65 9431 1821 / awoonkl@gmail.com :)
(There have been new regulations around seeking for funding directly online which we’re figuring out, so we can’t explicitly put our payment details here! I guess this is an update too. Haha)